There’s a challenge unique to this generation of parents, never previously confronted in all recorded human history. When do we drop our adult children from the family wireless unlimited data plan?

It is the final frontier of parenting.  An undiscovered country marked by shadowy terrains of nostalgia, sentiment and perhaps a bit of fear.   

There are no maps to follow.  Parents facing this question have no context from the past to guide them.  No one uttered the words “family unlimited data plan” in our youth.  If your parents were anything like mine, a request to pay my phone bill would’ve been greeted with a hearty laugh in my face.  Maybe I could’ve gotten away with calling home collect, but that’s it.  (If you don’t know what calling “collect” means, kids, Google it.  “Unlimited free talk” is another concept that didn’t exist in our youth.)

Of course, things are so much different today.  Long gone are the days of landline phones hung on the kitchen wall being the primary communication tool for young adults.  Back in our day we didn’t get our own phone number until we moved out.  Our children, however, had phones when they were in middle school, if not earlier.  And calling them phones drastically understates the mind-boggling scope of their power and utility.  Our so called phones today are indispensable assistants, the remote controls of our lives.

Such power costs money, of course.  The commodity we purchase is no longer the voice on the other end of the line but the data that makes all that texting, social posting, picture sharing, video watching and game playing possible.  And data ain’t cheap.  Buying it in bulk through family plans makes absorbing the costs more tolerable for families.

All of this is pure magic for our kids.  They grow up with access to the immense power of these devices without any awareness of the cost.  To top it off when they do start to become of the aware that things cost money, thanks to ingenious marketing by the wireless companies, kids completely buy in to the notion that having a family plan makes it cheaper.  The notion of the economic efficiency of family data plans becomes a type of rigid, etched-in-stone dogma as kids become adults and move out.

The refrain of the adult kid goes something like, “It makes no sense kicking me off the family plan.  The data is unlimited so it’s cheaper to keep me on it.”  Well, yea, sure, it’s cheaper for them, after all, you can’t beat free. They might as well be AT&T or Verizon customer service reps.

And so, we as parents find ourselves like sailors lost in the middle of the ocean without a compass, hoping we’re headed towards land but never really knowing for sure.  I myself could use a point in the right direction.  Three of our four kids are fully launched in the world, working at good jobs, and living on their own.  Still our AT&T bill includes six phone lines, and there seems to be no end in sight. 

The irony is as parents we watch our kids eagerly race to reach every milestone marker of age:  driving at 16, voting at 18, drinking (legally) at 21.  They lobby to do each of them earlier, especially drinking, claiming society represses them too long.  But ask them about covering their phone bill and they revert to the mindset of a toddler eager to get strapped into the car seat.   

In the grand scheme of things, a monthly wireless bill is not nearly the largest expense for any young person.  Most spend more on rent, food, booze, clothes, and entertainment.  So we have to ask ourselves as parents: why do we do it? 

Primarily we are acting out of love.  We want the best for our kids and if keeping them on the family plan makes life a bit easier as they find their way in the world, we are happy to do it.  Nothing wrong with that. 

At the same time, as I alluded to earlier, I think this issue speaks to another, more existential issue all parents eventually must face – kids grow up and leave.

For years we were the center of the universe for our kids.  Our home was their home.  We sweated and sacrificed, raising them so they would hopefully become happy, productive adults.  But when that day comes, we struggle to let go.  Perhaps keeping them on the data plan is that one last tether to a time when our family unit was the only one that mattered.

Nostalgia and sentiment notwithstanding, it’s high time we as parents stand up and draw the line.  No more excuses, we must set an example for future generations and make this final frontier of parenting our own.  I’ll start: Kids, consider this my official and final notification that the age cutoff for wireless data subsidies for the Bucher family is 27.  I can hear the wailing from the masses already.  Ok, maybe I could be persuaded to make it 28, but I won’t be pushed any further. You’re adults now dammit!  Fine, fine, 30, but that is it, 30 is the absolute limit.    

Whatever, just promise me you still return my calls, and we’ll work it out.