It’s one of Sinatra’s classics.
You make me feel so young
You make me feel there are songs to be sung
Bells to be rung
And a wonderful fling to be flung
My wife comes from a big Italian family so Sinatra tunes like “You Make Me Feel So Young” were always on the play list at weddings and other celebrations. Way back when I used to enjoy watching older family members smile and dance to this song without giving much thought to its underlying message. After all, when you’re 25 it’s hard to grasp the idea of ever being old.
Of course, when you find yourself in the throes of middle age, like I do now, it’s different. You tell yourself that you’re not old, but the face staring at you in the mirror and the creak in your joints when you get out of bed make it abundantly clear that you aren’t young anymore either. (And if we try to delude ourselves for a moment to the contrary, our kids have an irritating habit of bringing us back to reality.)
My mom likes to say that growing old sucks, but it beats the alternative. No argument here. All the same, the timeless, wistful lament strikes a chord: “Ahh, to be young again.”
The pursuit of youth is big business. Cosmetic surgeons, hairdressers, therapists, tattoo artists, fitness trainers, hell, even people who sell convertibles and sports cars, all trade on the never-ending pursuit of looking and feeling young.
From a career standpoint, if you’ve reached middle age, the quest for youth can be existential. So many people fear that companies no longer will be interested in hiring them once they turn 50. And for good reason. Ageism is real and rampant.
Hiring managers tell us age isn’t a factor in their decisions and try to provide extra reassurance by pointing out that they are forbidden from asking a candidate’s age. But if you’re an older job seeker you know the bias is like the wind: invisible, impossible to wrap your arms around, but all too real and ever present.
So many of us understandably conclude that this is a battle we can’t win. We acquiesce by removing graduation dates and our earliest job experiences from our resumes and LinkedIn profiles. We accept that age is an impediment, instead of an asset, and hope that people can’t guess how old we really are.
In recent decades so many things have improved in our corporate lives. Our workplaces are more diverse. More women hold more positions of leadership. Discrimination of any kind, based on race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, etc. is not only illegal but considered taboo. More progressive attitudes towards parental leave make life much easier for families.
Believe me, I’m not suggesting things are perfect. We still have much work to do. But it’s night and day compared to when I entered the workforce thirty years ago.
Yet it still seems acceptable to believe that once a person turns 50, they aren’t desirable. While they never say it publicly, privately hiring managers will tell you that older employees are too expensive or lack the tech know-how of younger digital natives.
Let’s call it for what it is – total discriminatory bullshit. Too many good people with much left to contribute are getting pushed aside for the wrong reason. As a result they are opting out, not even bothering to try. And that’s an injustice we need to address.
If you’ve ever managed a team, you know the key to success is creating a culture where people can thrive. People need to feel safe to be themselves but at the same time be willing to listen and learn from others with different experiences. Diversity is what makes the difference. Not just in sex, race, and sexual orientation, but in age.
I saw this first-hand when I was CMO at The Weather Group. The best part of the job was the team was small enough that I got to work closely with people much younger than me. I learned a ton. It made me a better employee and leader. And I like to think they learned a thing or two from me as well.
It’s easy to point the finger at ageism in the workplace. Yet despite how real and rampant it is, those of us in middle age can’t let that be an excuse for giving up and accepting the status quo. One of the real dangers of age is getting set in our ways. If we want to stay relevant and keep growing professionally, we need to return to the things that came easily in our youth: trying new things, especially things we may not be good at, meeting new people, being open to new relationships and experiences. They are what young people do effortlessly every day and what anyone in middle age must do if they want to stay fresh and vibrant.
Of course, there are certain things about youth that one can never recapture. Gravity always wins. But let’s not allow that to excuse ageism in the workforce or our unconditional surrender when we hit middle age.
Sinatra’s song is more than a playful lament. It’s an affirmation that feeling young is not just for our youth. It’s a call to arms to reject the notion that in our later years we can’t find that something or someone in our careers, and lives, that injects us with a timeless vitality. And once you do find it, hold on to it as long as you can. In the end if Sinatra can’t motivate you to stand up and fight back, than you truly have grown old.