During the Super Bowl, Tom Brady made an intriguing revelation.  With the Eagles cruising in the second half and the outcome no longer in doubt, Brady reflected on how he processed losing Super Bowls.  He admitted to dwelling much more on his three Super Bowl losses than on his seven victories.

As a long-suffering Giants fan I can’t let this moment pass without reminding the reader that two of Brady’s losses–including his most stinging defeat in ’08–came at the hands of Big Blue. 

But back to Brady’s comment–think about it for a moment:  the greatest, most successful quarterback of all time, a guy with more rings than anyone and every accolade imaginable, dwells more about the ones that got away rather than the triumphs. 

Sports fans might dismiss this mindset as typical–or least not surprising–for athletes of Brady’s caliber.  Many of the great ones used the fear of losing or anger about bad outcomes as powerful competitive fuel.

This mindset extends far beyond sports.  For the rest of us pursuing careers in less glamorous arenas, the thought of losing can tap fresh wells of energy and inspiration to help us push through the obstacles.  How many friends and colleagues struggle to let go of the deals, jobs or promotions that got away–no matter how rare?  Maybe the person staring at you in the mirror is the same.

So what if that describes me, you or even Tom Brady?  If negative experiences are harnessed positively, what right does anyone have to question another person’s motivations?

Fair enough.  But Brady’s comments also offer a useful opportunity to consider the downsides of over-indulging in fear and anger.  Here’s the thing about negative emotions: they can be harnessed for good purposes, but they also can never be satiated.  The more we indulge fear, anger and the like, the more attention they demand from us. 

We may get a short term burst of happiness when we leverage those emotions to achieve our goals, but they can have the same impact on our psyche as a powerful drug.  Like an addict needing ever-larger doses for ever-shorter highs, we find ourselves digging deeper into negativity for fuel.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting that Tom Brady is an angry, bitter guy obsessing endlessly over past losses.  He seems quite happy and well-adjusted.  And it should go without saying that the man has achieved way more than me and 99% of the rest of the world. 

But the fact remains that the only way to find enduring joy and fulfillment in our work is by motivating ourselves through positive emotions like a desire to contribute, create, serve, or even as an act of love.  Positive emotions enrich us, allow us to forge deeper connections and tap into our most fundamental needs as human beings. 

I’m not suggesting we should never use past mistakes as a motivational accelerant.  But like the classic saying about drinking, we need to “know when to say when.”  It is important that we learn to let go of our failures.  As any competitive or ambitious person will tell you, this isn’t always easy.  The fact that someone with Tom Brady’s track record of success struggles with it speaks to how difficult it can be to change our mindsets. 

No matter where you are in your career, it’s worth taking stock every once in a while of your motivations.  Is your first thought when you get out of bed or sit down at the desk to work proving doubters wrong, avenging a previous setback, or getting one over on the person sitting next to you? 

Tapping into negativity may be working for you now, but buyer beware.  If you can’t identify more positive forms of motivation for your work, one thing is certain: even if you’re lucky enough to make it to the top of the mountain, the view won’t satisfy you for long.  True professional fulfillment comes from putting aside the ones that got away and embracing the best in ourselves.